Empathy With

Scripture:  Acts 8:26-39

In Detroit Michigan on a mostly unassuming day in 1937 the most amazing thing happened.  A man by the name of Joseph Figlock was dutifully doing his job as a street sweeper and he was cleaning the alleyway between two buildings.  Meanwhile, four stories up a young mother experienced every parent’s worst nightmare when she accidentally dropped her baby out the window.  The child plummeted for almost 40 feet, but the fall was broken when the baby happened to hit the head of Joseph Figlock.   While both Figlock and the baby did sustain injuries, amazingly the baby survived the fall because Figlock happened to be in the right place at the right time.   The story does not end there.  Right at a year later, the baby was now a toddler.  In an unsupervised moment, the little tyke wandered over to the same open window and accidentally tumbled right out of it.  Once again, the child survived because someone just happened to be in that alleyway at the right place at the right time to be hit by a falling child.  This person who happened to be there to save the day the second time was named Joseph Figlock!  Math is not my strong suit but the odds of the same man saving the same falling child twice must be astronomical.  It is truly the most amazing of coincidences. 

 A coincidence implies random chance.  In 1777 English Author Horace Walpole wrote, “Chance is the instrument of Providence.”  In the 20th century this thought got upgraded to modern English as “coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”  While random chance and extraordinary events lining up can still happen, it seems like when God is involved there are a lot of coincidences.  When a one in a million chance keeps happening over and over, I am not sure it is chance anymore.   We worship a God that is deeply involved in the world that God created.   Our God is not some distant clockmaker who set the universe in motion and lets it run like a well-oiled machine.  God is a God of coincidences, a God of miracles.   There are so many testimonies of when God has provided the right person or the right situation at the right time.   This morning’s scripture is a reminder of the opposite side of that coin, because sometimes we are the right person and the right place for someone else.  Just like Joseph Figlock was in the right place at the right time twice, there are instances where by God’s design we are in the right place at the right time.   This morning’s scripture is a reminder that the best way that we can be the right person for someone at the right time, the way that we can make an eternal difference is to have empathy with them. 

When we hear this morning’s scripture being read, we might naturally assume that Phillip is one of the apostles, one of Jesus’ original twelve disciples.  This is an understandable assumption to make, especially because in the gospels a Phillip is listed as one of the disciples.  However, that Phillip is not the same Phillip that is featured in this morning’s scripture.  The Phillip we are focused on is first introduced in Acts 6.  At this time the apostles tell the growing church to choose seven people to oversee the distribution of food to the widows.  Among these seven servants or “deacons” is Phillip.   In Acts the narrative then spends some time focusing on these deacons, first Stephen and then Phillip.  After persecution scattered the church, Philip found himself in Samaria, north of Jerusalem, where he successfully preached and healed.  After an encounter with a sorcerer earlier in chapter eight we get to this morning’s scripture. 

This morning’s scripture is centered on Philip, but if we consider it from the Ethiopian Official’s perspective it is an amazing coincidence.   He was returning to his home country after a visit to Jerusalem.  He was returning with Jewish scripture and was puzzled by what he was reading.  Then this random dude just starts running beside his chariot, and he just happens to have all the answers to the questions he had been asking.   For the Ethiopian it had to all feel too amazing to be a coincidence which is why it ends with him going on his way rejoicing.   Of course, this morning’s scripture makes it clear that it was not just a coincidence.  God placed Philip right where he needed to be to make an eternal difference. 
While Philip being in the right place at the right time is amazing enough, there are some cultural considerations that make this morning’s scripture even more remarkable. This morning’s scripture describes the Ethiopian as in important official.   This does somewhat obscure the fact that he likely did not have much choice in this or any aspect of his condition.  In the ancient world, eunuchs were often enslaved, and they often did not have much choice in being eunuchs.  As one who served a foreign queen, that is likely the case for this man.

 Even so, He had risen to a position of responsibility and importance, but that did not change how this Ethiopian man was marginalized.   In the ancient world a slave in a role of importance was still a slave, and in the ancient world eunuchs were viewed as “less than”.   This scripture makes it unclear if the Ethiopian is of Jewish descent, which is why he was going to the temple to worship God or if he was a gentile who was drawn to the God of Israel.  Whichever it was he made the long journey from south of Egypt to Jerusalem to worship God, but he was only able to do so from afar.  Because of his condition and circumstances, a rule found in Deuteronomy 23 excluded him from the temple, so the outer court is as close as he would have been allowed.  It is clear from the scripture that the Ethiopian desperately wanted to know God, but he was an outsider.  He literally, was not permitted to come close enough to fully worship God.  

Philip and the Ethiopian could not have been more different.  Yet, following the Spirit’s leading Philip literally comes alongside this man.   He sits with him as an equal.  He does not look down on him, he does not try to ensure the Ethiopian knows his place.  Philip met the Ethiopian where he was at.  Again, by the leading of the Holy Spirit he did this physically, but he also met him where he was at spiritually.  Philip had compassion for and empathy with the Ethiopian, because of this Philip was able to share the good news with him. Because of Jesus, God did not have to be distant to the Ethiopian.  He was not shut out and forced to stay in the outer courts, but that because of Jesus that he too could be saved.   To prove he did not have to be an outsider any longer, he was fully included in the family of God and was baptized right there along the side of the road. 

For the Ethiopian this might have all felt like the most amazing of coincidences, but it did not happen by chance.  It was the work of God, and Philip being open to and obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit.  In the same way, there are people that we encounter, and it is no accident.  It is not a coincidence.  The Holy Spirit still leads, and there are times when we can be the one who brings hope and good news to someone else.  There are times when God has placed in the right spot to be the person who makes an eternal difference in the life of someone else.  I am confident that we are more likely to realize those moments and act on them when we regularly have compassion for and empathy with other people. 

Author and public speaker Brene Brown defines empathy as feeling with people.  Like Philip did in this morning’s scripture, Empathy is when we come alongside someone else.   Nursing scholar Theresa Wiseman sought to define empathy in her academic work.  To do so she identified four attributes of empathy. 

The first attribute is taking someone else’s perspective.   This means we listen and we try to put ourselves in the shoes of someone else.  We do not center ourselves in their story, because when we do this, we end up saying stuff like “If I were you, here is what I would do. . .“and we offer what makes sense to us and for us, not to the other person.   Instead, of centering ourselves in their story, we seek to understand their story from their perspective.  

The second attribute is not to be judgmental.  No one and I mean absolutely no one likes it when some evaluates them with a judgmental attitude.  You don’t like it when someone is being judgy of you, so we really should be judgmental of others.   However, we can communicate with a judgmental attitude even when we do not mean to.  Too often our impulse is not to come along side someone else, but to treat them as a problem that needs fixing.   Our motivation might even be that we want to be helpful, but when we tell people what they should do or should not do, we come across as judgmental not helpful.    Being non-judgmental does not mean we blindly affirm the choices and views of someone else, but it does mean that we make the intentional choice to try and understand the perspective that led to their choices and view in the first place. 

The third attribute of empathy is that it recognizes someone else’s emotion or seek to understand their feelings.   This is another area where, in trying to be helpful, we fall short.  When someone is going through something hard, our reaction can sometimes be to redirect people to a silver lining.   We unhelpfully tell people “It could be worse” or “at least you can be grateful for what you do have.”   In most of the cases these “at least” platitudes do not help.  

What often does help is the fourth attribute of empathy which Theresa Wiseman stated is communicating your understanding of a person’s feelings.   This is where the idea of empathy being feeling with people comes into.  This is where empathy is coming alongside someone else and sitting with them throughout whatever it is they are going through in life.  

 Ultimately empathy is about how we make connections with other people.   Empathy is not just saying “reach out if you need anything”, empathy is being beside someone even if, especially if, you can not fix it.  Empathy is the actions we take that communicate to someone else I am here for you and I am not giving up on you.   Friends, for most people no matter what they are going through in life, to have someone communicate that to us is good news.  

There is an old saying often attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt: “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”  As followers of Jesus, we do have the ultimate good news of the forgiveness of sins and eternal salvation.  However, no one is going to care what we have to say about how to save their souls until they know we care about them, until they know and believe that we see them, we hear them, we will sit with them through whatever they are going through, and we are not giving up on them.   The way that we introduce people to the love of Christ is not by treating them as projects that need to be fixed and saved, but as people with sacred worth who deserve to be loved.  We first must empathize with people and share with them the good news that I am here for you and not giving up on you, before we can share with them the good new of Jesus Christ. 

This is true for all people, across all ages.   Yet it might be especially true for young people. In their research the Fuller Youth Institute found that empathizing with young people is an essential strategy for churches that want to grow young.   It is one of the necessary things a church must do if it wants to be a place that young people want to come to.  Empathy requires effort no matter what, and for many empathy with young people requires additional effort.  It seems to be a generational rite of passage for older generations to complain about younger generations.  If our starting point though is to complain about “kids these days” or begin conversations with young people by saying “back in my day” then we are not being very emphatic.  In their book Growing Young the Fuller Youth Institute researchers define what an emphatic adult looks like.  They wrote, “Its sitting on the curb of a young person’s life, celebrating their dreams and grieving over their despair.”

In this morning’s scripture Philip came along side and sat with the Ethiopian.  He did not judge, but he radically accepted him as someone seeking God.  It led to the life of the Ethiopian changed eternally and he went on his way rejoicing.   None of this was an accident.  It was more than a coincidence.  In the same way, it may not be a coincidence or accident when we keep encountering people.   May we be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit.   May we not treat people like projects who need to be fixed or saved.   Instead, may we have empathy with others.  May we truly seek to understand their perspective, and may we be willing to come alongside them and sit on the curb with them.   In doing so, we will love them and it is through how we love others that we best share the good news.   So may we have empathy with the people around us, and because we do by the grace of God and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit may we make an eternal difference.