When Things Get Messy

Scripture:  Galatians 6:1-10

The story goes that a fiery preacher once chose for a sermon topic, “forgive your enemies.”  He read the scripture, he preached passionately, and he tugged at heart strings.  At the end, the preacher asked, “How many of you are willing to forgive your enemies today.”  Now several people were genuinely convicted and ready to forgive.  A little over half the hands went up.  For this preacher, that was not good enough.  So, he launched into another story and gave an even more impassioned plea.   Twenty minutes later he asked again, “How many of you are willing to forgive your enemies today?”   This time about 3/4ths of the congregation raised their hands.   For the preacher though, this still was not good enough.  So, he continued on for another twenty minutes.   By this time people were more concerned about eating lunch than they were about forgiving their enemies, so when the preacher asked a third time nearly all of the hands went up.  All but one belonging to a little old lady.   The preacher asked the woman directly, “Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”   With a thin voice, the woman replied, “I don’t have any.”  

Surprised by the response, the preacher asked, “and how old are you?”  

She replied, “ninety-three.”

The preacher then instructed, “Then please, come down front and tell us all how someone can live to ninety-three and not have any enemies.”

Very slowly, the woman made her way to the front of the sanctuary, she turned around and said, “Well it’s simple really.   I outlived them all.”

This story, along with this morning’s scripture, reveals a simple truth.   Living our lives while following Jesus, seeking to live in a faith community with one another, can sometimes get messy.   Every clergy colleague I know has a painful story of when they learned that church people are not always nice people.  There will be times when someone, through their selfish actions or careless words, hurts us.  There will be times when these people are people who should have known better because they are our sibling in Christ.   On the flip side, there will be times through our own poor choices or impulsive actions do harm to someone else.   Because none of us are perfect, even with our best-efforts things can get messy.  When that happens, I suppose one strategy is to just outlive everyone else, but in this morning’s scripture Paul gives us another option.  When things get messy our best way forward is to not become weary in doing good.  

This morning’s scripture was written to several churches in the Roman Province of Galatia.  These churches were all in some turmoil and conflict, which is why Paul wrote this epistle in the first place.   Throughout Galatians, Paul assured these congregations that they were all saved by faith in Christ Jesus.  He encouraged them to view themselves as the family of God and have that connection be what binds them in unity.  Despite that, this morning’s scripture reading is an acknowledgement that things can get messy. 

 Last week we read the scripture that came right before this morning’s reading.  So last week we read how Paul encouraged the Galatians to righteousness, to holy living, by following the leading of the Spirit.  In doing so, Paul listed the acts of the flesh, or the sinful nature, and these actions were opposed to the fruit of the Spirit.  In this morning’s scripture, Paul seeks to answer the potential question, “What happens when a believer does one of the things on the sinful nature list?”  The answer that Paul gives to this question is not exactly straightforward, and on the surface is somewhat contradictory. 

The apparent contradiction is found in verses 2 and 5.   Verse 2 states, “Carry each other’s burden and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ”, but then in verse 5 Paul wrote, “Each one should carry their own load.”  While it can seem something of a contradiction, this is one of those instances where it is not an “either/or” but rather a both.   Verse five is a reminder of personal responsibility but verse 2 is a call to communal accountability.   The reminder of personal responsibility is a reminder that our ability to stay in step with the leading of the Holy Spirit or not, falls solely on us.   We have responsibility for our own actions.  If someone is unkind to us, that does not give us permission to respond in the same way.  Treating others the way they treat us is not a virtue.  While we are responsible for our own actions, when we veer off course, we do not have to rely solely on ourselves to right the ship.   This is why Paul wrote to the Galatians that they are too “carry each other’s burdens.”  They were to hold each other accountable and help each other in following the Spirit’s leading.  

Accountability though is a loaded word and concept.  People tend to like the idea of holding others accountable for their actions, but most people do not like being held accountable.   For this reason, accountability is often weaponized.  Some have used it as a club to beat others for stepping out of line.  That is not accountability.  That is just being a bully.   However, even when used correctly accountability can be a hard balance to find.  As Paul wrote about in this morning’s scripture: “if someone is caught n a sin, you who live by the sprit should restore that person gently.  But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”   The struggle is to treat a person gently but not be so gentle that we end up excusing or even justifying the behavior that was sinful or harmful in the first place.  

 In our Methodist history, we have an example of how to best walk this balance.  When the Methodist movement first started in England, the methodists were organized into societies, and each society comprised of various classes and bands.  These classes and bands would meet weekly with one another, and when they did, they would ask each other the question, “How is it with your soul.”   Now ideally, the answer was “It is well with my soul”.  However, if they could not say that, then they would confess their sins to one another, they would pray for each other, they would encourage one another.   If someone said, “it is well”, but another person knew it was not.  If they knew the person had acted in a way that did harm or had chosen not to do good, then they would challenge their answer.  They would call it the behavior and hold each other accountable.   This was not to wield power over another or to put someone in their place, but rather it was a way to carry one another’s load. 

The reason why this worked is because the members of the class and bands trusted one another.  They all sought on their own to hold themselves to a standard of personal holiness where they followed the leading of the Holy Spirit, and they knew that when they fell short their friends would gently but firmly help them make it right and get back on track.  I realize this level of transparency and vulnerability is not easy for most of us.  I also realize that the level of trust needed to get to that point does not come overnight.   It is something that must be worked towards.  To best follow Christ we are to carry each other’s burdens, but we can only do that when we make the intentional choice to begin trusting at least one of our siblings in Christ to share our load.  While we get to that point, this morning’s scripture gives us an additional option of what to do when things get messy. 

In verse 9, Paul wrote, “Let us not become weary in doing good.”  When things get messy, when someone causes us harm, then we can respond by doing good.  We do not allow the cruelness or unkindness of someone else to harden our hearts.  When someone else chooses harm, we choose good.   While we cannot control the actions of someone else, we can choose and we are responsible for our actions.   Choosing to do good and make the world a better place, one small action at a time always keeps in step with the sprit and follows the way of Christ. 

There is a story that illustrates what choosing to do good in the face of harm looks like.   The story goes, that Ethel had passed away.   She was a dear old saint of the church.  She had done it all taught Sunday school, led VBS, directed the choir, visited the shut-ins, and anything else in the church that needed doing.   She had also served as a mentor for a young man answered the call to ministry from his local church.  It seemed so appropriate to have this young man conducting the funeral.  But, for reasons untold, when the time came for the funeral to begin the young preacher was nowhere to be found, nor had word been sent to explain his tardiness.  The crowd grew somewhat restless as the moments became minutes and threatened to become an hour.
 
As the restlessness grew, a middle-aged man in the congregation stood and addressed the crowd.  “It seems the preacher is late.  Until he arrives, I feel as if I should share a special memory of Ethel.  My greatest memory is the time that she brought me a cake, and it wasn’t even my birthday.  I still do not know the reason that she chose to bring me the cake.  But I will remember her for this.”
 
As he sat down, everyone turned their attention to a lady that rose to speak.   This woman had a reputation as the church gossip.  Whenever she spoke people tended to hold their collective breath, because they were never quite sure what she would say.  “Funny that you should remember a cake, because I too received a cake from Ethel.  In fact, I received several over the last few years.”
 
Amazingly, yet another man stood, claiming that he too had received a cake.   However, the cake he was given a sour cream pound cake.  This caused a murmur to rise around the room.  Ethel’s sour cream pound cake was legendary.    Whenever the church had a pitch-in the attendance that Sunday would be among the highest for the year as people came to jockey in line just to get a piece of sour cream pound cake.   The man concluded, “Ethel and I did not often see eye to eye, but she certainly did right by me.”
 
A few more people rose to give testimony to the cakes that this woman had baked and delivered over the years of her life.  Some had gotten one.  Others had received several.  A couple of more people even stated, with some level of pride, that they had been fortunate enough to receive a sour cream pound cake. 
 
Seated on the front row, out of the attention of the crowd, was Martha.   Since childhood Martha and Ethel had been best friends.  As people spoke of the cakes they had received, Martha sat strangely quiet.  You see, Martha had never once received a cake from Ethel. As the testimonies continued, Martha began to feel hurt in ways she could not explain.
 
About this time the door opened and in rushed a winded preacher.  The frustration of delay showed clearly on his face.  Going to the pulpit, he addressed the congregation, apologizing for his delay.  The first speaker rose again and said, “It’s OK pastor.  We have been passing times by sharing our memories of Ethel.”
 
The young preacher spoke again: “Since you have shared your memories, permit me to share mine.  When I first answered the call to the ministry I spent many hours talking with Ethel about a wide variety of matters.  Once, we were discussing the way people, even good church people, cut and hurt one another with words and action.  I asked her how she handled it when evil or meanness was spoken of her or directed towards her.  The answer she gave has stuck in my mind to this day: ‘When people have spoken evil of me, I try not to respond in kind, but in kindness.  When I learned who had spoken so cruelly, I would go to my kitchen and bake them a cake.  I would deliver it to them and never mention their unkind words.  Sometimes I had to bake several cakes.  And if they were especially cruel, I would go and prepare my specialty, a sour cream pound cake.  I learned that repaying this evil with kindness made the evil so much more bearable for me, and I hoped that every bite of the cake would tell them that I love them, despite their actions.”
 
A stunned crowd left the funeral home that day, with one exception, a quiet lady who rose from the front row and left with a smile on her face remembering the cakes she never received from her dear friend.
 
 As Christians we are a bunch of imperfect people, seeking to follow a perfect savior.  This means that there will be times that we fall short, that we miss the mark, and that we do not follow Jesus as closely as we might like.   May we be willing to be open with our most trusted siblings in Christ, so that we can ask each other “How is it with your soul” and we can answer honestly.  More importantly though, may we not grow weary of doing good.  When someone does us wrong, may we not respond in kind by may we respond in kindness. May we not seek to just outlive those who have wronged us, but may we do good- even if that means using cake.   As we have opportunity to do so, may we do good to all people.